Real Life Comedy
Intern Life
Jun 28th
As Global Traveler‘s intern, I have had the unique opportunity of experiencing firsthand the world of publishing. Today, as I start my fourth week with the company, it seems like the perfect opportunity to reflect on my time here thus far. As some of you might know, we moved global headquarters yesterday. As the intern, I packed all the boxes and organized all the old issues of the magazines. Needless to say, my arms are looking very toned.
In addition to getting ready for the move, I have been able to interact with many of the important people who help Global Traveler run smoothly. Every one of them has embraced me with open arms and made my time at GT a pleasure. As the new and inexperienced intern, their kindness and willingness to help have made my first few weeks here memorable and pain free.
Besides all of my intern tasks and handling advertising orders, I sometimes sneak upstairs and compare my travels with the articles from the archives. Last semester, I studied abroad in Rome and traveled all around Europe. When my travels match those deemed worthy by GT, you can only imagine the pride I feel. Perhaps I am destined to be a global traveler?
The truly comedic part of my internship came yesterday. There is nothing quite as funny as having people of varying ages and physical abilities working together to move an office. Numerous times throughout the day, I nearly dropped the boxes I was carrying because Kim made me laugh. In order to move the boxes as productively as possible, we created an assembly line. The people in the front would “weigh” the boxes with their imagination and give us an update on how heavy the boxes were. Generally, they were completely off, but at least we had some sort of gauge of the strength needed, and it provided some humor. To help with the move, Fran hired a few very strong local guys. As I struggled with two boxes, one of the guys walked by me carrying a file cabinet. Then the other two walked by with a huge wooden desk. I guess there is something to be said for picking your own battles.
Now today, as I work from Kim’s desk (my new desk has not yet arrived), I reflect on the bruises on my legs and the soreness in my arms. All around me are boxes that need to be unpacked and things that need to be organized. To some, this might be intimidating, but to me . . . it’s just another day in the life of the Global Traveler intern.
– Mary Carpenter, intern
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way from Beijing
May 10th
As I take care of some work around the house — a little planting for spring — I needed to take a little break to tell you a funny story.
On my way to the airport in Beijing, I was on the main drag outside of the Grand Hotel Beijing, on East Chang’an Avenue, and just in front of the Beijing Hotel, my taxi was stopped at a red light. I was anticipating my flight to Hong Kong and the many meetings ahead of me. Not to mention enjoying the city’s restaurants and shopping!
Suddenly, there was a big bang and a jolt forward. I looked to the cabbie who was as shocked as I. We immediately realized we had been rear ended. The driver put the car in park and got out to assess the damage. As he opened the door, another unmarked car pulled up and the two drivers began talking.
In a few seconds, the trunk of the cab was opened and my luggage and golf bag were transferred to the other car. My driver said “airport,” which I took to mean the other driver would be taking me to the airport. In the “rescue” car, there was another passenger in the front seat. I learned that the passenger was staying at the Beijing Hotel and the two drivers were friends. I went along with the whole ordeal.
Maybe this was not the smartest thing to do. In fact, and in retrospect, this could have been the perfect kidnapping ploy. But it was not — it was simply two guys helping each other out. The taxi had significant damage; the bumper destroyed and the trunk smashed in. It was funny, standing in the middle of the street and watching my things being transferred.
En route, I talked to the other passenger, who was from Jerusalem, and we laughed at the entire event. At the airport, I was taken to the terminal for my Air China flight to Hong Kong. I think I paid a bit more for this ride, but considering the events, I did not quibble.
It is always interesting traveling to China. I would recommend wearing your seat belts (I was not)!
– Fran Gallagher, publisher and CEO
Signs, Signs, Everywhere Are Signs
Apr 10th
In the last few weeks I’ve been enjoying looking through the literally hundreds of pictures that daughter Jenny has posted on her Facebook page from her European adventures. I can see that she really has quite a good eye for lighting and a nicely framed shot, but she also has an eye for spotting the delightful and sometimes ridiculous in signs posted everywhere from Ireland to Italy. Anyone who’s traveled much has certainly spotted those informational signs posted in several languages which, in the translations, can often have unintended if amusing messages. Several of Jenny’s sign pictures, though, don’t involve words at all, while others are amusing in their context or in spite of the fact that they were written in the “native” tongue.
One of Jenny’s early encounters with such eye-catching messages came on a trip to the beach here in Oregon. She and I were walking on the boardwalk in Seaside and came upon a large blue-and-white tsunami zone warning sign. It depicts an enormous, three-story wave cresting over a tiny stick figure fleeing from the shore, and arrows point in the direction of a “tsunami evacuation route.” She insisted that I snap a photo of her next to the sign, posed in that same position of running from the threat with a terrified expression on her face. Amused not by the very real danger of tsunamis but by the exaggeration necessary in the sign to get its point across to we silly humans, she has kept an eye out for similar messages ever since.
While visiting the grounds at Versailles in January, she snapped a photo of a sign apparently meant to warn of the risk sloping pathways pose to the wheelchair-bound. A wheelchair (empty) in silhouette zooms down a 45-degree slope (three short lines behind the chair indicate the rapid rate of its descent). It’s really quite alarming — and amusing — in its stark depiction of man vs. terrain.
At the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland, Jenny saw that all the signs in the world, exaggerated or otherwise, simply won’t deter some folks from risking life and limb for a photo opportunity or a little rebellious thrill. The Cliffs rise to a maximum height of 700 feet straight up from the crashing waves of the ocean below (if you’ve seen The Princess Bride, you’ve seen the Cliffs of Moher). Most sane people would not require any kind of warning to stay back from the edge, but Jenny’s picture of the long string of signs telling visitors to stay on THIS side of the fence, do not go beyond this point, etc., etc. would suggest otherwise. That, and the fact that in that same frame one can clearly see some crazy soul trekking along the cliff edge well beyond the safety zone.
Another favorite of mine from this particular subset of travel photos is one taken in Vatican City. I myself have been to plenty of churches and mosques where visitors are requested to dress modestly via written notices, but I’d never seen a graphic depiction of that message like the one Jenny found. At the top, above the stern words “No Entry” and their equivalent international symbol are two of those generic male and female figures usually found on restroom doors. The female here, however, is dressed not in her usual A-line dress but in what appears to be a sleeveless mini with a plunging neckline — complete with cleavage! The male wears short shorts and a sleeveless tank top. The bottom half of the sign depicts a lady in a below-the-knee dress with sleeves and a modest neckline, while the gentleman seems to be attired in neck-to-ankle long johns. They are accompanied by “YES” and an arrow helpfully directing one to the entrance. No quibbling here; if your clothing doesn’t match the picture, it’s No Entry for you!
Got any sign stories you’d like to share?
– Patty Vanikiotis, proofreader
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Visiting Vegas, Part 2
Mar 28th
While in Las Vegas, we enjoyed a couple of great shows and some fine dining. Something one quickly realizes regarding food here: if it’s a venue in one of the major hotel-casinos, it won’t be inexpensive. Sure, there are still those spots near the strip that promise cheap steak-and-egg breakfasts all day and all-you-can-eat buffets. If you have a hankering for even a simple salad or a little snack and don’t want to leave your hotel, however, prepare to pay. Ah, well, I guess they’ve got to pay those water and electric bills somehow (but isn’t that what all those flashing machines are for?!).
We stayed at the Rio, which boasts “all suite” accomodations. I would define our room as not so much a suite as one large room with king bed, couch, small table with Internet connection that would have to serve as a work station (not handy for those convention-goers that do have to work while in Vegas) and TV atop the bar cabinet. Sorry, no coffeemaker, but a stunning view through the floor-to-ceiling window wall. Since the Rio is across I-15 from the Strip, the set-back allows a really great vantage from which to take in sights of the rest of the town and the mountains beyond. The bathroom/dressing area included a small ‘frig, sizable closet with safe, generous vanity area and a separate room with the commode, a second sink and tub/shower. I was delighted with this arrangement because it meant if one of us chose to get up earlier or retire later than the other, lights and noise wouldn’t disturb the sleepyhead. However, the design included a glass-block “window” over the shower which, with the bath light on, spilled a beam of light directly across the bed! So much for that advantage! (We solved the problem with a towel draped across the opening.) I was also a bit surprised at the dearth of bath products. We’ve all grown accustomed to those little bottles lined up on the vanity, along with shower caps, sewing kits, shoeshine cloths and the like. Because we didn’t want to check luggage, I had whittled down my ”liquids” to a bare minimum and was counting on the hotel’s supplies. We got a small bar of hand soap, one small container of shampoo and one of body lotion – and only the soap was replenished (without a request) during our three-night stay.
We had a very nice (though I wouldn’t rate it “outstanding”) meal at the Rio’s Voodoo Steakhouse one evening, and enjoyed the great views from its 50th-floor location looking out towards the strip. We then took in Penn & Teller’s magic show in the hotel’s theater and spent the next two days periodically asking each other, “So, how do you think they did that with the cell phone?” “Where did that guy from the audience go?” They REALLY put on an extremely entertaining 90-minute show which I would highly recommend.
The next night took us to the Mandalay Bay, where we had one of the most outstanding meals of our lives at Charlie Palmer‘s Aureole restaurant. Food, presentation, service were all first-class; and the wine list is incredible. We enjoyed a price-fix four-course tasting menu made up of a number of “parallel” small plates, accompanied by some perfect wine selections suggested by the restaurant’s very knowledgeable and pleasant sommelier. Then it was off to a thoroughly delightful production of The Lion King. It seems everyone I know has seen the show; and they were all correct in their descriptions of the fantastic costumes, masks, puppets and dance. If you’re one of the few people on the planet who hasn’t yet seen the show, I would urge you to take the opportunity to do so.
 There is certainly a restaurant and a show in this town to meet any taste or preference, and the human theater on display along the strip is as entertaining as any paid-for performance. And sometimes you see something that just makes you laugh. We saw billboards everywhere picturing four young, clean-cut guys in neat suits looking a bit like the Four Seasons. No, this wasn’t an ad for Jersey Boys. The billing proclaimed “Australia’s Human Nature — the Ultimate Celebration of the Motown Sound.” It just struck us as rather incongruous: four white guys from Australia were presenting the “ultimate” celebration of Motown? Really!!? Only in Las Vegas!
– Patty Vanikiotis, proofreader
