Education
Graduation Day
May 16th
Today was an important day in our family, for this evening our younger daughter graduated from Loyola University in Chicago summa cum laude with her Bachelor’s degree in Nursing. Four years ago her big sister graduated from college, so now both our girls have completed their formal educations (at least the part that we committed to helping them pay for). Officially, our work as parents is completed, and Jenny, like her sibling before her, is ready to go forth in the world and support herself. Realistically, we know that both girls will continue to look to us for emotional support and encouragement, even if they may no longer need our pocketbooks (the job market willing). And we’re glad of that; as independent and smart and able as they are, we hope to always be a part of their lives, without handing out too much unsolicited advice, of course!
This time of year always gets me thinking about graduations and new beginnings and young people going out beyond the comfortable boundaries of families and hometowns. When I was teaching, I gave one assignment to my senior English students’ parents. Sometime in the second semester the class would be reading Shakespeare’s Hamlet, and there would be Polonius’ lengthy speech giving advice to his son Laertes as he prepares to depart for studies at the university. Often we tend to think of it as a string of cliches (“Neither a borrower nor a lender be”, etc.), and often Polonius is portrayed as a pompous old buffoon with little wisdom of value to impart. If you look at the lines carefully, though, you have to admit that much of what he says is true, and if Laertes takes it to heart, could serve him well.
So I would ask the parents of those soon-to-be-graduating seniors to write a letter to their sons and daughters, passing along to their children some of the wisdom and advice that perspective, time and contemplation had lent them. Of course, it wasn’t a graded assignment; in fact, I never opened and read the letters. I simply gave a due date and asked that the letters be turned in in a sealed envelope addressed to the child. On one of the last days of class before graduation, I handed the letters out to the students and let them read what their parents had wanted to share with them.
It was always a powerful exercise; most of those kids had never received such a thoughtfully composed letter from their parents. In the written word, the parents could share their hopes and dreams and advice without it coming across like a lecture or scolding. Most took the opportunity to write of their feelings of love and pride for their offspring that many found it difficult to express face to face. Many of the students, feeling the mixture of excitement and fear which always accompanies big life changes, found in the letters the reassurance that their folks would still be standing behind them, no matter how far their search for the “real world” took them.
It is at graduation ceremonies that we usually sit through several lengthy speeches from deans, professors and invited commencement speakers in which they offer their own bits of advice to the grads before them. Have you ever thought about what you would say if given the opportunity to address such an audience? What might you share with your child, niece or nephew, family member or friend as he or she prepared to leave high school or college for the wide world? What have you learned about the world and humanity that you feel would be of value to someone just starting out? What say you, Polonius?
– Patty Vanikiotis, proofreader
She Loved New York
Mar 14th
My well-traveled daughter, Jenny, was back in Chicago for just five days after her Europe sojourn before she and her good friend Emily took off for their final spring break trip. The two seniors gave themselves a graduation gift (with a generous kick-in from Mom and Dad) of a five-day trip to New York City. It was a first-time trip to the Big Apple for both, and they were extremely excited to experience as much of the city as they could. Her trip triggered memories of my own college graduation trip to New York with my roommate Diane, 30 years ago.
Jenny believes one of the best parts of the trip was their accomodations at the Duane Street Hotel in the TriBeCa neighborhood. She had had her fill of youth hostels and the YMCA after her two months overseas, and she and Emily spent plenty of time researching to find a nice place that could accomodate their budgets. Located conveniently not far from Wall Street and the financial district and in a trendy area with great restaurants and shopping, the Duane Street Hotel sounds like it would meet the needs of both business and leisure travelers. The girls appreciated the fact that they could hop on the subway just two blocks from the hotel and get to the myriad sites on their extensive list of “to-sees.” With only 45 guestrooms, this was a good choice for them, and they found the staff friendly and very helpful with tips and directions. They also appreciated the property-wide free Wi-Fi, warm cookies available 24/7, plush bathrobes in the room and a spacious, well-appointed bathroom.
I got a kick out of Jenny’s Facebook posting on her first morning in New York: “You know you’re in NYC when: they are filming Law & Order right outside your hotel.” Another New York moment (on the other end of the thrill scale) was spotting rats on the subway platform, but it seems everything else was pretty much a thumbs-up. Both girls were moved to tears at the National September 11 Memorial & Museum (just blocks from their hotel) but were glad to have experienced it. They also visited MOMA and the Metropolitan Museum of Art, took the ferry to Liberty and Ellis islands, stopped in at a jazz club on the Upper West Side and saw The Lion King on Broadway. They wandered around Little Italy, compared New York pizza with the Chicago variety they know well and, of course, enjoyed the shopping (“Mom, no sales tax on clothes!!!”). One disappointment: They weren’t picked up by Cash Cab.
Arriving back in Chicago late Friday night, Jenny now looks ahead to her final months of school. She will graduate not only with her formal degree but also some great real-world experiences gained on her travels. Best of all, she’s grown in confidence in herself and her ability to navigate a big new city (even if she mistakenly ends up in Brooklyn at some point!) and has gained a grand appreciation for the world and its peoples.Â
– Patty Vanikiotis, proofreader
Not Your Typical London Sights
Feb 13th
This month’s issue of Global Traveler has a wonderful article on London, with plenty of great suggestions on what to see and where to stay and dine. I shared the piece with daughter Jenny, as she and her fellow students would be spending a month in the area during their study abroad experience. Our family had actually stayed in London for several days a number of years ago when Jenny’s big sister was studying in England, so she had already had the opportunity to experience some of that delightful city’s offerings. We visited St. Paul’s, the British Museum and the National Gallery, shopped at Harrods and took in a play in the West End. There was not enough time to see everything we wished, so Jenny has been looking forward to getting back to London.
 In just the last two weeks on daytrips in to the city, she has toured the Tower of London (and has decided the jewels alone would make it worth being Queen of England), spent some time in the museums, visited Harrods (again!) and thoroughly enjoyed a production of Sister Act: The Musical at the Palladium Theatre. That is not all she’s taken in, though. No, as a nursing student, Jenny has also visited some lesser-known attractions in London that have been, at the very least, eye-opening.
First stop was the Hunterian Museum, located at the Royal College of Surgeons. John Hunter, an 18th-century surgeon, collected and preserved thousands of specimens of plants and animals (and assorted human body parts) in order to better understand anatomy and improve medical treatment and surgical techniques. His original collection was purchased by the government in 1799, given to the Royal College and grew exponentially over the decades. Even though a large portion of the collection was lost during the bombing of London during World War II, Jenny was amazed at the number and variety of items on display.
They then proceeded to the Old Operating Theatre, dating back to the 1820s and the oldest in all of Europe. It’s actually located in the attic space of a church which adjoined St. Thomas’s Hospital — convenient, I guess, whether the surgery was successful or not. Actually, a large skylight just above the operating table provided good light, and the gallery gave apothecaries and physicians-in-training the opportunity to observe and learn. This was, of course, in the days before anaesthesia was available (except for opium and alcohol, that is), so speed was important. Jenny’s group saw a demonstration of how an amputation might be done, including the knives and other instruments used. Her one-word assessment: “Gross!” Usually, these modern nurses-to-be would also visit the Florence Nightingale Museum, also located at St. Thomas’s, but it is closed right now for updating.
Just this past Wednesday the group took in a little more medical history when they visited St. Mary’s Hospital and the lab where Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin in 1928. Fleming had been working with staph bacteria before he’d left on a two-week holiday. On his return, he was clearing away Petri dishes that had become contaminated with mold and happened to notice that the bacteria in those dishes seemed to have been killed by the mold. Jenny found this quite instructive and deduced a few nuggets to live by: Taking a break from work can be good for you in unexpected ways, and perfection in housekeeping could be detrimental, also in unexpected ways. (I would say that when she was a teenager in our house, she had already embraced that last philosophy!)
It just goes to show that there are always fascinating places to see and new things to learn that are often off the beaten track from the usual tourist destinations in the cities we visit. Follow your own interests and inclinations, grab a map or Google a bit and create your own personalized tour.
– Patty Vanikiotis, proofreader
A Parent’s Worst Nightmare
Dec 5th
Two bright, pretty young women choose to spend part of their college experience studying in a foreign country. Then, little more than a month after they begin sharing an apartment together, one is found brutally murdered and the other is charged with the slaying. I am referring, of course, to Meredith Kercher, a 21-year-old British student killed two years ago in Perugia, Italy, and Amanda Knox, now 22 and hailing from Seattle, Wash. Amanda was convicted this week after a year-long trial and sentenced to 26 years in prison.
 With my own 21-year-old daughter preparing to depart on her travel and study abroad experience in just a month, I find this story contains all my own worst fears about what my child could encounter so far from home. While I’ve experienced first-hand the joys and expanded horizons that overseas travel provides, and our older daughter survived and thrived during her own foreign study several years ago, I also know there are dangers that a naive, albeit bright, young woman may face.
I’ve followed the Amanda Knox case almost from the beginning, at least in part because her family lives in the Northwest and she attended the University of Washington. The story was often in the news as her parents tried to counter all the salacious stories the Italian press pumped out over the last two years — most based on wild rumors and imagination rather than fact. Print and television newsmagazine reports which closely examined the police investigation and prosecution tactics have convinced me that Amanda and her then-boyfriend have been wrongly convicted.
Apparently, I’m not alone. After the verdict, Washington’s Senator Maria Cantwell cited the “negligent handling of evidence by investigators,” harsh treatment Knox received after her arrest and the fact that jurors weren’t sequestered and were exposed to all the highly negative news coverage throughout the trial. She also stated that she had serious concerns about whether anti-Americanism tainted the trial.
Is it likely that my own precious child will be murdered or wrongly accused of a horrific crime while she travels? No, but nevertheless I will be sure to share with her an article from Global Traveler‘s July 2008 issue by Leif Pettersen about what to do when facing an encounter with legal authorities overseas. Along with all the magazine’s great articles on destinations she’ll be visiting, I’ll include Ron Bernthal’s piece from May 2009, “Safety First.” While Jenny’s school has advised its students on guarding against pickpockets, drugged drinks and travel scams, I’m not sure they’ve covered what to say and NOT say when involved in a crime (as victim or accused) in a foreign country.
I’m not one of those parents who wants to wrap her child in cotton and protect her from all the bad things in the world. I trust her instincts, resourcefulness and brains to get her through most of the situations she’ll encounter as she travels (she has survived quite nicely on her own in Chicago these last three years, after all!). I believe she will return enthused about all she will have seen and experienced and wiser for facing the wider world on her own. That won’t keep me from sharing those articles with her, though, and praying for her safe return every day she’s gone.
– Patty Vanikiotis, proofreaderÂ
