Hovering Is Hindering
Saturday, August 23rd, 2008John Wroblewski’s August 20th blog really struck a chord with me. I, too, have been seeing quite a lot on the “helicopter parent” issue, but as the mom of two daughters (ages 20 and 24) and a former secondary school English teacher, I’ve been able to observe it in action for several years from a couple of different perspectives.
 Last week we sent our younger girl back to her junior year in Chicago, 2,000 miles from here, just three weeks after she had foot surgery. She’s still on crutches and needs to line up physical therapy and post-op visits with a new doctor. Last school year while trying to have her foot problem diagnosed and addressed, she had to make numerous appointments and decisions about who she wanted to see and how to proceed. Her dad and I were always ready with advice (when asked for it) and support, but we didn’t jump in or fly back there to take care of it all for her.
 Are we terribly cold and heartless? No, I prefer to think that we raised Jenny and her sister to be independent, capable, confident young women who know that WE trust that they are smart and skilled enough to deal with most of the challenges life throws their way without needing us to rescue them. They know we are always ready with a sympathetic ear and the benefit of our experiences, but they would be HORRIFIED if we ever pulled any of that hovering nonsense!
I believe that one of the greatest gifts parents can give their kids is confidence in their own abilities, and kids don’t get that if Mom and Dad are always jumping in to kiss the boo-boos and clear away any difficulties. That sends a not-so-subtle message that the folks don’t think Susie Q can handle life on her own. What a way to cripple an otherwise capable individual! Kind of makes you wonder if there isn’t some correlation between helicopter parenting and that other phenomenon I’ve been reading about lately: boomerang kids.
They haven’t really learned how to ride the bike until you’ve let go and let them sail off down the street on their own.
 Patty Vanikiotis, proofreader
