Despite the fact that I have been in corporate America for more than 25 years, I have a pet peeve I must share with all of you corporate raiders out there reading this. Since most of you are the movers and shakers I am begging you to hear me out. What is my pet peeve? Corporate-speak!

I was in my local bookstore and picked up a book that caught my eye called “A Dictionary of Bullshit” by Diane Law. I have been laughing from the moment I picked it up because it addresses my annoyance at the plethora of business “buzzwords” that have permeated our conversations for decades now. So, before I lose my mind completely I want to share some of them with you and plead with people to embrace the English language as it was designed and throw these silly phrases to the wind. Some of my favorites:

“Due Diligence (noun): the failure to spot blindingly obvious contractual, legal and accounting nightmares prior to a takeover.”

“Blowback (noun): the inevitable consequences of a foolish business decision, generally dealt with by other parties after the person responsible for the decision has safely left the scene of the crime.”

“Benchmarking (noun): the corporate equivalent of waterboarding.”

“Behavioral Competencies (noun pl.): personal idiosyncracies yet to be crushed to nothingness by the corporate behemoth.”

“360 Degree Appraisal (noun): an attack from all sides.”

“Robust (noun): a doormat, which holds up well to being stood on, repeatedly, by many different people.”

“Third Generation Contingencies (noun): things that might go wrong, but not until years in the future, by which time you’ll hopefully be far away and beyond the reach of blame.”

And, on the top of my list:

Vice President (noun): a corporate drone who accepted a fancy job title instead of a pay rise.”

-Morissa Pawl, vice president western region